Growing OP

Canadian movies are always terrible. Yeah there is some great Canadian acting talent but it all ends up in the United States, and what are we left with? Government sponsored indie gems like this. A movie about a teenage boy living in a grow house run by his parents. Boy gets a crush on the girl across the street ( the same girl who played a teenager 10 years ago on are you afraid of the dark). He decides he no longer wants to be home schooled which is usually a good choice when you are younger and have a shot at not being socially inept retard. Anyways, the boy soon gains popularity in school because of his enormous knowledge of marijuana and he graduates high school and goes to prom with the girl across the street. But at graduation his whole family is arrested by the family across the street who were really the police the whole time.
Boy feels betrayed by girl and is offered a deal where he would go free if he testified against his parents. His dad forces him to take it in the first act of half decent parenting you see in this movie. The movie ends with the boy growing pot in his dorm room at college so that everything is some how a happy ending, because he clearly didn't learn that growing drugs was illegal.
The best part of this movie was the 20 seconds of a teenage head song and the reference to the band. The worst part? Everything else.

Long time no update.

I am going to give weekly updates a shot, I swearsies. This week will go beyond the scope of movies because I will dive head first into making fun of a music video too.

Loser. I can't stress enough how rediculously bad this movie was. It was like swallowing that little bit of vomit that you occasionally throw up into your mouth. So some douche bag moves to new york to go to college and has to deal with asshole room mates. Boo Hoo. Then we are suposed to give a shit about him being all crazy about some girl who doesn't know he even exists? Dude, she's banging her proffessor, That has to tell you this girl is nothing but trouble, crazy trouble.
The only part of this movie that made sense to me was that Greg Kinnear was an asshole. He looks like the type of person who is a HUGE asshole. Is Jason Biggs dead? I haven't seen him in a movie in ages, and I am pretty happy with that, Sean William Scott has seemed to revive his career over the last few years. I hated that guy in college, he basicly inspired assholes to be bigger assholes with his role as Steve Stiffler. There are 3 douchey things about that name too.
Its an illiteration, Steve is spelled with a "v", and his last name is Stiffler, come on. I remember sneaking into American Pie when I was 12 years old with some friends and loving it. I watched that movie a couple weeks ago and I hated my 12 year old self for liking it so much. I also saw Chris Klien in a movie recently, but I will leave that for a future post.
Back to Loser. Never ever ever subject yourself to this cinematic torture. It even had a terrible song to go with it, Wheanus- Teenage Dirtbag. This song was way to popular when I was in highschool. The video is suposed to go with the movie but it doesn't. Sure it has the whole Jason Biggs is inlove with Mena Suvari but she doesn't like him like that UNTIL THE END. But this video is set in highschool and the movie is set in college. I would assume this is because marketing bad music too highschool students is much easier than marketing the same bad music to someone paying good money for higher education, But it isn't THAT much harder.


Anyways, some non- bad movie related news. Tech TV in ontario is playing Freaks and Geeks every day at 5pm now. I already have the episodes on my ipod, but I think it will be like the American History X factor. When I was 15 or 16 I bought American History X on dvd and I watched it once. In the next few months when ever I wanted to watch a movie I would browse through my dvd's but never pick American History X. Everytime American History X was on tv
I would watch it because its a pretty good movie. I then noticed that it was the same story for every movie I owned. I would watch them when they were on tv but I would never watch them on the DVD I payed for. There are clearly exceptions to the rule, some movies are great no matter what, but for the most part all the movies I own never get watched. So I have set my PVR to record Freaks and Geeks AND Undeclared which is on after it on mondays I believe.

This entry was pretty fun to write. I got to curse and insult Greg Kinnear, I will probably run the risk of wearing out the novelty of a blog and update again tommorow.

Hatley High and more.

Sometimes movies are so bad, they end up being really pleasing. It was really the classic high school movie. But with a few ironic twists. 1. Chess is the big sport in the school. This is awesome, chess jocks picking on the nerdy basketball team. 2. Girl meets boy, girl gets boy, girl blows it, girl wins boy back. The movie centers around an international chess rematch between The school's team and a team from Russia. The main characters mother played chess on the school's team 40 years before the movie takes place but she opts out of the tournament because she was a coward and refused to defend democracy through chess against those commie bastards.
Anyways the main character refuses to play chess but when the captain of the team goes missing the day before the big game he steps up and movie magic is made.
Since this was a Canadian production you can see the same members of the cast in other series such as "The Festival" and "The Business" a dramedy about working in the soft core pornography business. Oh Nicholas Wright (Main Character) will be appearing in the Dead Like Me Movie, which is going to be awesome.

So yeah next time you are browsing the video store and feeling a bit peckish for cheesy teen comedy. This won't disappoint, actually it probably will.